The Lies and Mysteries of Gilligan's Island
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I grew up watching Gilligan’s Island. It took four decades to admit it, but I loved the show. This program made being stranded look so good, I was more than willing to sacrifice grade school and roll the dice on taking a three hour tour on a cruise ship strangely named the Minnow, all in the hopes of eventually being “stuck” on an island with millionaires and beautiful women.
They had everything set up perfectly in their island utopia. Gilligan and the Skipper gathered food, constructed living quarters, and continually patrolled the island in deterrence of danger. The Professor’s inventions provided much-needed time saving devices and actually created an atmosphere of leisure. Mary Ann was a nurturer, tending to duties that comforted and supported the others. Mr. and Mrs. Howell provided social opportunities with country clubs and parties, while Ginger was the central figure in cultural endeavors that included theatrical productions, beauty pageants, pop musical groups and even fortune-telling. Despite the occasional squabble, everyone got along well and they not only survived, they flourished. They cooperated and worked toward that glorious day when they might be liberated from their exile. Or, did they…?
How can I say this? How can I admit I was wrong? The castaways of Gilligan’s Island knew full well they had what we all wanted, and attempted to hide the truth from the world. They had no intention of being rescued. They lied to me! They lied to us!
Seven stranded castaways--or something far more sinister?
Let's examine the facts!
We must start with the theme song. They tell us “the mate was a mighty sailing man, the skipper brave and sure.” Huh? Gilligan was many things, but I doubt anyone would consider him a mighty sailing man. If this song is telling us the truth, Gilligan was cunning and shrewd, and his bumbling persona was an act to justify his concerted efforts to remain on the island, carefully hidden from society! The Skipper might have been sure, but one has to question his bravery in the light of his many fears and superstitions. His acceptance of native superstitions was so profound that he thought Gilligan had been turned into a monkey—and later, that he had been cursed by a small wooden statue. We’re told the Skipper was brave, but his fears were many.
The deceit doesn’t end there, however. The song tells us that “if not for the courage of the fearless crew, the Minnow would be lost.” Uh, guys…the Minnow was lost! Finally we are informed that the ship set ground on “the shore of this uncharted desert isle.” I might have missed something, but it looked like a tropical isle, not a desert isle. I mean, there were trees everywhere, and they seemed to have a water source. It wasn’t even a deserted isle, as they soon found an airplane pilot, a jungle boy and an artist living there, curiously oblivious to each other. It is just as hard to believe the island was uncharted in light of all the folks (like the pop group, the Mosquitoes) who intentionally made their way there. Someone knew how to find this little chunk of island real estate on a map!
Want further proof that we were conned into believing the Castaways wanted to return to “civilization?” During the first year on Gilligan’s “uncharted” island, they were visited by a pilot, a Japanese soldier, a gangster, the jungle boy, a surfer, the pilot (again), native tribes from nearby islands, and an artist. The next two years found them in the company of a native family from another nearby island, an exiled dictator, Russian cosmonauts, a rock band, a wealthy socialite acquaintance of the Howells, a robot (!), a Howell impersonator, a spy masquerading as a ghost, a crazed scientist, a Gilligan impersonator who was really a Russian spy, a movie producer, a witch doctor, a butterfly collector, the crazed scientist (again), headhunters from a nearby island, a gambler/kidnapper, a Ginger impersonator, a big game hunter, an actor pretending to be an ape-man, still more headhunters from another nearby island, a slave girl from a nearby island, and a King from a nearby island.
A quick count reveals that twenty-seven individuals or groups visited the island while the Castaways were stranded there, and two of them even returned. Even if Gilligan bumbled through every encounter, the others should have been savvy enough to convince someone to give them a ride home. This can only mean no one wanted to leave….
Who are these castaways?
An occurrence that staggers the imagination and cries out for investigation is the idea that identical twins of Gilligan, Mr. Howell and Ginger all appeared on the island. Think about this for a minute—seven castaways on one island and three of them have a double that just happen to show up. There is a possible explanation—the Castaways themselves were the doppelgangers, perhaps part of a nefarious identity theft ring that went a step too far. Gilligan looks eerily similar to a young beatnik named Maynard G. Krebs, best friend to Dobie Gillis. Could it be possible Krebs replaced an able sailor named Gilligan in order to drop out of society?
In the film “A Very Brady Sequel,” it was even suggested Carol Brady’s first husband was the Professor, hopelessly lost at sea. It makes complete sense to believe the Professor would rather hang out on a tropical island with Ginger, Mary Ann and the rest than face life with Carol (Brady) and those three daughters—especially the little one with the lisp. It’s all so clever, really.
Each time a stranger came ashore, the Castaways hatched a plot to ensure the visitors would not or could not return for them. Fifteen years later, they finally ran out of tricks and their return to the United States was documented on “Rescue from Gilligan’s Island.” After briefly sampling civilization following their rescue, they reunited for another cruise, set sail into another storm, and got stranded on the same island—again. How ingenious is that?
Okay, castaways, or whoever you are—the game is up. We know what you’re doing. We understand that you want to spend the rest of your lives on an island paradise. We recognize the allure of that quiet, leisurely existence. We comprehend there was probably a lot more fun going on that we didn’t get to see. Just don’t tell us you were on a desert isle. Don’t try to make us feel sorry for you all—whoever you really are. Don’t expect us to believe you were the victim of an unfortunate circumstance, far beyond your control. You don’t have to lie to us.
The game is up. We get it. We understand.
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CommentsLoading...
Hilarious points here. Thank you for the smiles & laughs. I enyoyed this a great deal
Truth, thank you for your comments. I enjoyed writing this one.
Ken, thanks for reading. I'm glad you enjoyed my efforts. Have a great day!
Interesting facts and the complete breakdown of the song certainly has made me realize now that they did not sing what they were talking about, you are right they did not ever want to be rescued. All of the re-runs we have watched I always questioned why they never left, lolololo . There clothing also looked stunning for washing them in Salt Water and Ginger never managed to run out of make-up nor did Mrs. Howell. lololo Great Hub! :)
Aevans, thanks for your comments. I had to write about Gilligan when I saw how funny the song was, compared to how their story was told. It took me 40+ years to see how goofy that song was, but hey--better late than never.
Thanks again for your comments.
What a fabulously fun and witty ride through the Gilligan's Island TV show. Very good hub. :)
Springboard, thanks for reading, it is much appreciated. It was a fun show that brings back good memories from childhood.
Must have been a very popular show. Maybe one day, I'll get to see a bit on video or DVD. I liked the paragraph about the Cast aways. There is a reality program called "Cast away" and a film too (with Tom Hanks). I wonder if they got the idea from Gilligans Island.
Very interesting Read. Wish I could hear you sing the Theme song. lol.
Lady_E, thanks for your comments. For decades, Gilligan's Island was one of those show that was shown on television somewhere in the world on a 24/7 basis. It was silly, but it captured the imagination of its audience and was fun to watch.
I can admit it now--I LIKED GILLIGAN'S ISLAND!
Thanks again for your comment.
You have a flair for comedy, Mike. This was very funny.
rml, I appreciate the compliment. Thanks for reading.
Hey Mike, this was so much fun to read this morning! hahahahaa You know, as you were giving scenes-you were jogging my memory of things that I had forgotten. Cracked me right up! I loved this show as a kiddo. You are right, they are no victims of circumstances! They loved this island. Toooooooooo funny! Great reading! Thanks! :)
Ghost! Didn't recognize you with the new avatar--a very nice picture! I'm glad you enjoyed my tribute to the seven stranded castaways, and also happy to be able to give you a chuckle.
Hope you enjoyed your weekend.
Mike
No phone, no lights no motor cars, not a single luxury, like Robinson Caruso, as primative as can be. So join us here each week my friends, you're sure to get a smile, from Mike Lickteig's hubber page, here on "MikeLickteig's Isle."
:) Lots of people think I am fake-troll-a ghosty-I am not!!!! I am real!!!! dang it! I am real!!!! Thanks for a nice compliment!
Mike Lickteig's Isle! I like the sound of that. Now all I need to do is assemble my fellow castaways and head out.....
You are indeed real, Ghost. No fake or troll or ghosty.
Thanks for your comments.
Mike, have you considered another interesting twist? The shipwreck never happened. All 7 were part of the US Marshal's Witness Protection Program. They'd seen corporate espionage linked to the Howells and then to Hong Kong. Part of a major corporate endeavor to tie up the shipments of China White for three years (not hours) and sell it off to the highest bidder.
The professor's angle? As a chemist, he would refine the shipment. Gilligan? Collateral damage in the eyes of many but actually the backdoor operator. Ginger? Counter Intelligence. The orientals would fall all over a beautiful American starlet. She was the information broker who did what she had to do in order to "soften" up the intended target. Maryanne was no fool. What was really grown between the cornrows back in her hometown? The DEA was looking at her hard. The Skipper? Hired muscle. Specialty? A family cruise you never came back from.
So, now, who was really behind that grassy knoll, huh?
Thanks for putting a smile on my face. Never thought to wonder such things about Gilligan's Island :)
hc porter
Unchained Grace, thanks so very much for commenting. Your witness protection theory gave me a big laugh--just what I needed.
Ah yes, the grassy knoll. Tune in next time for my expose: whatever happened to (Brady Bunch) Mike Brady's first wife?
Thanks again, your comment was terrific.
H.C., thanks for reading. It's funny about the song, I never really thought about it until I realized they weren't really on a desert isle. When I went back over the lyrics more, I realized they were pretty funny, compared with what happened on the show. (And another hub is born, I guess...)
Thanks again for your comments.
Our whole family watched Gilligan's Island every week, and we liked it too. It was great family viewing back in the day! It came around again in the 80s/90s as the subject of several popular spoofs at the Fringe Theater Festival.
I think it was a clever precursor of the series "Lost" - a test run to see how much silliness we would swallow and still tune in week after week! ;)
Thanks for the fun memories. Also - Congrats on your "Empty Room" still featured on the front page! and you as a featured writer! Well done!
RedElf, thanks for commenting. Comparing Gilligan's Island to Lost is quite valid--both shows indeed seemed intent on seeing how much we could swallow. (It was funnier with Gilligan, however...)
Thanks for letting me know I was included as a featured writer, with "Empty Room" on the front page. I sometimes bypass the front page when logging in, and I wasn't even aware that I had been so recognized. It's nice to be noticed.
Thanks again, RedElf.
Glad you liked the Witness Protection thing. Figured it might be worth a laugh or two. Mike Brady's first wife? She had an illicit affair with Alice the maid and was run out of town in disgrace. Or, was that Lilly Munster and Grandpa?
Morticia and Uncle Fester? I'm getting a visual here and it's not a good one. Conspiracy theories abound! This was a fun Hub, Mike. Thanks!
ahahahaha..I came here to say hello Mike...been missing ya and I see something about Alice and Mike Brady's first wife having some kind of affair? Whaaaaaaaaa? Oh, I aint even going there with Fester--but you know Mike...I think you are getting a prep for some twisted comic book hub you are going to write! hahahaha Laughing my head off..oh, p.s. I did hear that Elvis was spotted at Burger king or something FYI..hehehehe too funny! Hope all is well Mike!
Unchained Grace, I'm sure Alice was agreeable to just about anything, but I gotta admit the image of Morticia and Uncle Fester made me wince. Hopefully that won't show up tonight as a nightmare.
Thanks again for conspiracies galore!
Ghost! Nice to hear from you again. The twisted comic hub just might be a go, with everything from the Brady's to Elvis to........ who knows?
I kinda like the idea.
I'm doing okay, wishing for some sunshine here in Kansas.
Good to hear from ya!
And wishing you some of this dang snow here in New York! :) I was kind of thinking that would be a killer hub-the twistedness of it all--the conspiracy theroies run amuck! hehehe! You bet I am on ya team and routing for you though morticia and fester make me want to puke jest thinkin bout it.. hehehe!!!
Hi, Ghost! Mind if I pass on the New York snow? Kansas snow is plenty for me.
There could be a fairly twisted hub to come out of all this, it would seem. It might be a fun project... I gotta admit, the mental image of Morticia and Fester gives me hives. I might have to trot out the Fred Flintstone night light, just in case the image summons a nightmare-induced panic tonight! If not the night light, then at least some Pepto Bismol.
Thanks, the laughs help a lot this evening.
So, Mike, what sort of comic book you have in mind? I see my insinuation of Fester and Morticia has rumbled some tummies. It's a tough visual to get by. Fred and Barney were cool, though. I always wanted a shot at that big rack of Bronto Ribs on the side of the car when the show opened.
Imagine all the BBQ sauce you'd need? Cole Slaw? Potato Salad?
Ya know what, though? Come to think of it, I never did see the episode when Gilligan and all the rest got rescued. Saw the prelims, but not the show. I heard it wasn't all that, though.
BTW, Ghost? Elvis says hello. Caught him at Subway earlier. He ordered two of those huge pastrami subs with melted cheese. I won't even get into what Herman Munster ordered.
Now, there's a man who could eat!
Unchained Grace, while the haunting image of Fester and Morticia lingers, I think everyone is okay. You never saw the rescue episode? It actually captured the spirit of the series fairly well, which not every reunion show can pull off.
Ghost saw Elvis at Burger King, and now you saw him at Subway? Weird. I thought I saw a man in a sparkly outfit ordering curly fries at Arby's (he had a coupon), but he was humming a Barry Manilow song.....
Who knows what else could happen????
Unchained grace--I just came back from living in Las Vegas-I saw Elvis everywhere I went-even the 7 Eleven,standing in front of Flavor Flave-no lie! So if you keep spotting him at the BK and now Subway in Baltimore..I can believe it...he probably travels as much as I do...or he's following me...?? Oh shush...I hear footsteps...somebody's coming to my bedroom....it sounds like Elvis...(I am smelling Pizza?) Could he be bringing me a Domino's?...LMAO
Well Mike, you said you needed some fun..here we go again!
Noooo I heard somebody on another hub comment saying he saw Elvis at burger king...It was Unchained Grace who told somebody..and I told someone..and you told someone...and now he is in my bedroom with pizza!WTF HAHAHA
Okay, Elvis at Burger King, then Subway. My unconfirmed sighting at Arby's. And now, PIZZA IN YOUR BEDROOM!!!
How many pizzas did he bring? Did he sing to you, also? Was he singing Barry Manilow songs?
Can things get ANY MORE BIZARRE???
Maybe...................
I loved this Hub.
Maybe you should write a "reboot" of Gilligan’s Island kinda like they did with "Battlestar Galactica" and answer these questions.
Wait a minute, wouldn't that be "Lost"?
sabreblade, nice to hear from you. You are correct, the reboot has already been done. They left out most of the funny parts this time, though..what's up with that?
I'm glad you enjoyed my odd tribute to the Castaways.
Thanks for reading.
Mike we must come from the same era, I love Gilligan and his island, along with many other products of the 60's 70's and 80's another great one. Granted I was born in the 70's so some of what I refer to is reruns and what not but man those were the days. None of today's TV or any entertainment for that matter compares
Aaron, thanks for commenting. I confess I love television from the 60's through the 80's. People that know me claim (unfairly) that I don't watch anything newer than 15 year old TV shows. I watch a little, but you're right--TV today doesn't compare.
Thanks again for your comments, they are always appreciated.
Great Hub!!!!!!!
The clarity and balance shine from this hub. This hub can be regarded as one of the most intriguing hub. The information is presented in very methodical way and presentation is of par excellence. Thanks a lot.
ateenyi, thanks for your comments. I had a great deal of fun writing this one, and I'm glad to see that so many folks enjoyed reading it.
Thanks again.
There is nothing more satisfying than an intellectual dig into a 1960's TV show. I enjoyed this immensely. However, I did believe, at the time, the song was supposed to be tongue in cheek. I wonder whatever happened to the actor who played Gilligan.
Dolores, thanks for your comments. You're right, of course, the song (and the whole show) was meant to be tongue in cheek--I just couldn't resist poking a little fun at it. I think Bob Denver(Gilligan) is still around. The actors who played the Skipper and Mr. and Mrs. Howell have all passed away.
Thanks again.
Mike
I just saw Elvis at sonic and he was with that Gilligan guy!
Okay! We have a sighting! Elvis at Sonic. He probably got the fries, too!
haha amazing hub! I never realized Gilligans island had such a dark underbelly!
That's right, Watchman. You had to keep an eye out on those Castaways! They were tricky!
Thanks for reading!
I loved Gilligans Island and I never 'got it' that the song was about NOT being rescued.. ah ha .. no wonder they never got off the Isle. Great writing... Thanks Mike
Mekenzie, thanks for reading. Those castaways were pretty sneaky, weren't they? Imagine, trying to get us to feel sorry for them while they had a great time! We should have known, they looked too happy!
Thanks again.
Dude, you've watched WAY too many Gilligan episodes!! But this was a great, fun hub! I loved it!
habee, thanks for visiting. You're right, I watched Gilligan so many times as a kid, I had some of the shows memorized. Maybe that's my next hub: "I owe my success to Gilligan's Island."
Nah....
Well, thanks again for visiting.
Gilligan of Gilligan's Island had a first name that was only used once, on the never-aired pilot show. His first name was Willy. The skipper's real name on Gilligan's Island is Jonas Grumby. It was mentioned once in the first episode on their radio's newscast about the wreck.
Unchained Grace, thank you! I was trying to remember the name Willy since I wrote this! I remembered Jonas Grumby, but could not think of the name Willy!
Do you remember the Professor's name???
Thanks for your comments.
I'll have to check that out, Mike. I will get back. I'm sending out the Flying Monkeys as we speak to research this.
His name was Professor Roy Hinkley, played by Russell Johnson. The Flying Monkeys have returned with the answer in record time.
Of course, Roy Hinkley!!! I should have remembered that! I would never have remembered Willy, though.
Unchained, I appreciate your help, and please be sure and give the Flying Monkeys extra monkey treats.
Thanks again.
The jig is up Gilligan:
"a Gilligan impersonator who was really a Russian spy"
I knew it, I knew that Doby Gillis wannabe was a no good Commie! Ah just kidding, I enjoyed this analysis though, so many dopplegangers and different groups living on the same "deserted" island, lol. If I ever get stranded on a tropical island, where my tiny ship gets lost, supposedly, I hope it's with a farmers daughter and please let there be at least one busty movie star, and a professor to make margaritas and a hot tub made of coconuts. Thanks Mike, now I'm going to have to watch the next episode of Gilligans Island, and wonder if Gilligan really was, "a mighty sailing man", I don't think there were any mighty sailing men on the entire island, lol.
Ben, thanks for reading.
There were so many people visiting that island there must have been signs posted reading, "this way to uncharted desert isle." Or tropical isle. Whatever.
Along with a professor, a farmer's daughter and a busty movie star, there also needs to be a couple guys to do all the work. Once that's arranged, a life of theatrical performances, beauty contests, pop performances, abstract painting and bizarre dream sequences awaits. Pretty nice.
Thanks again for your comments.
Mike
LMAO, this is a great hub! The comments are a hoot themselves! I grew up on Gilligan too.
KCC, thanks for reading. I have to admit, I got a huge chuckle out of some of these comments also, and I had to go back and read them again tonight.
I appreciate your stopping by.
Mike
I'm still in love with Ginger.
Micky, if either Ginger or Mary Ann were interested in me, I wouldn't have pushed them away. They were both gorgeous. Thanks for stopping by.
Mike
Great hub and I well remember Maynard's "WORK!"?
Hi, Polly. The Dobie Gillis show had a charm to it, and it was pretty cool in its day. Maynard was a unique character, and it was interesting to see that both Tuesday Weld and Warren Beatty were on the show.
Thanks for stopping by. It had been awhile since anyone commented on my Gilligan hub. I appreciate it.
Mike
Like about everything else I caught this in reruns but I loved it too. Gilligan was from WV same as Don Knotts did you know? And also the dark haired regular on Three's Company; Janet was it? Joyce Dewitt? It's early, I'm off the yard sales, lol
Hi Polly. It's interesting that Bob Denver (Gilligan) and Don Knotts both came from West Virginia. They were similar in their physique and even a little in their acting style (physical comedy), although Bob Denver played things more laid back than Don Knotts did. Joyce Dewitt and Don Knotts were both on Three's Company, right? I had no idea where any of these folks came from.
Thanks for your comments and the info. Enjoy the yard sales.
Mike
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Truth From Truth 2 years ago
Nicely done on a show I used to watch myself. The show was entertaining. Thanks.